My English is not top level so bear with me on this weird 1 AM ramble about nothing. I'm not going to lie when I say the Train Simulator games resonate deeper with me than I could have guessed. I was surprised that one of the games I'd play the most on Xbox would be Train Sim World 2, I keep coming back to it more than I do with Destiny 2 whenever they release somekind of new update or DLC. It surprises my friends as well, there's so many triple AAA FPS games by big companies and here I am, silently in a Xbox Live Party playing Train Sim World 2. But why? I started questioning myself, how come after all the time I played FPS games the game that keeps catching my interest was TSW2? Well it dawned on me later that night that yes I do like big machines and engineering but as well of memories. I partially grew up in a little place known as Winterthur, a town in Switzerland. Most of my friends don't even know that town exists or mistake Switzerland with Sweden but I do not blame them, mistakes occur. My family's main way of transportation as you could guess was by train, I still have my mother's SBB pass. Everyday I would take the train to my school and back. It became just so familiar, almost a part of my life as a child. When I became a little older, more of my family were brought to Germany and France as refugees. Visiting them was not too hard, we would take the InterCity Express to Germany, if I could remember specifically it might have been a BR401 "ICE 1" but I am not too sure, or we would take the TGV to France. I would usually spend my time drawing, sleeping or looking outside the window watching the landscape zoom by. Life in Switzerland wasn't too easy at first. In no way does this represent the whole country and should not be taken in that way, it is just what we experienced in the past. My family was brought there by my uncle, as a entirely Muslim family adjusting to life there was not too easy. Bullying at school, mother having trouble finding work and other sorts of obstacles in the way made it even harder adjusting. As time moved on it became easier, we got more used to people there and they got more used to us. I later on got into gaming as it was something fun to do since the few friends I was able to make did not live near me. My first feeling of having a crush was hard for me because it was a girl, something that I would never have thought was possible for a girl to have a crush on another girl. I largely struggled with it making me more socially awkward than I already was, I usually discussed it with my big sister and cousin since I was afraid of what my devout Muslim mother would tell me. It was quite a emotional Rollercoaster for me, my priorities largely shifted from trying to fit in to improving myself and my mental health, to try and accept myself for who I am which again, coming from the family I was in was not easy, almost like a robot trying to step out of its programmed path to experience the outside world, like a train driving through a line that it was not supposed to be on disregarding every PZB command or in swiss ZUB 123. With school stressing me out as well as some of my sisters who did not approve of what was happening to me I just retreated more and more into my own little bubble of pent up stress, until one day, that one Cold January night I just stayed awake throughout the night till the morning, I could not sleep nor get up, I remember the feeling of defeat inside of me, eventually my big sister realized that something was wrong and alerted my mother who then called an ambulance, luckily it was just stress but I was recommended a therapist. I think my favorite activity was talking to my big sister which I will refer to as Nadia, she understood me metaphorically and literally as my only way to communicate was writing on a piece of paper or sign language which she fortunately understands, being a mute and living with it was probably the hardest part of all this, correct me if I am wrong but I feel like you won't miss your voice until it is gone. Things fortunately became better for me at least, I got into sports and exercise all though gaming never left my side, particularly Train Simulator. After school I used to always draw the trains I saw pass the station, specifically a Re 450 Doppelstock Pendelzug, a RABe 511 Stadler Kiss Double Decker EMU and a RABe 514 Siemens Desiro. Sadly I have lost these drawings all though I doubt it was anything too special. Surprisingly I had a growing curiosity on how these amazing machines machines functioned bit by bit. Watching them drive by at high speeds despite them being big heavy vehicles was amazing to me, I remember seeing a BR401 ICE 1 pass glanzenberg, still wonder where it ended up stopping. The Holidays was also something that my family never really grasped, they did not like me partaking in holiday events as you could probably guess why. I still however hung out with a few friends during the holidays or played video games, I also got to talk more to my crush who helped me gain a sense a confidence and self acceptance, it really felt like home to me. Unfortunately the day came where it would all just go away. My grandmother was not doing very well healthwise, my mother who was very fond of her decided to go to Norway where my grandmother resided to be with her during the final stages of her life. My mother however really liked Norway, even found a nice apartment for us to live in, the city of Oslo. It was hard for us all, for me it was so hurtful, for someone who had already trouble adjusting to Switzerland it became harder to adjust to Norway. The worst by far is that my grandmother did not make it through Covid-19. I stayed inside for the most part and played Train Simulator on the Gotthardbahn Erstfeld Bellinoza route aswell as another route that I'm not sure where I got it from however I remember that it started in Zürich and went to Olten. They are the only routes I played because they reminded me of the place I called home. I later on started playing routes in France in Germany, some of them resonating with dear memories I have made. On a bad day coming home from school Unfortunately I discovered that my PC went completely kaputt and refused to boot up properly anymore quite terrible for me as it made me quite happy, I was then stuck with a Xbox one s and a laptop that could barely run Euro Truck Simulator. I made and lost many friends on xbox which for a mute was not very easy using text chat. When Train Sim World 2020 released on consoles I was very curious, I've seen youtubers play it but I'd never imagine a train simulator being released on consoles, I played it at first, then played it more and more, I loved it despite only playing main spessart bahn. When Train Sim World 2 released on consoles I immediately purchased it, I was so happy when I played Schnellfahrstrecke köln. Eventually I became more curious about the safety systems, I first learned SiFA which was easy unsurprisingly however I was curious about PZB and LZB aswell. Switching on PZB I did not get it at all, I think every 600 meters I got a zwangsbremsung, so I switched it off for the meantime. I aswell discovered what AFB did which was a huge help for certain things, trying out LZB was not to complicated until the End Section which at the time I did not know you had to use the PZB release switch when the leuchtmelder said Ende. I eventually started reading on how to use PZB and LZB properly and it really increased the fun of the game, it also helped me stop in time because of that EVIL talent 2 that stops at the station approaching Köln Hbf, I cannot tell you how many times that thing caused me to pass a red signal with a freight train. My time with the Xbox one s Unfortunately was also numbered as it's fan refused to work well and it was prone to overheating causing it to get more damaged over time. But I would be saved by Nadia as she somehow got me a Xbox series x which I still play today, despite me desperately missing Train Simulator I still adored the Xbox series x as it was a gift from her and it ran TSW2 pretty well. So pretty much most of the time I sit in a Xbox Party playing TSW2 and listening to music, life for me is still somewhat anxiety riddled. My older cousin who still resides in Switzerland did however get a position as an SBB driver and I am super proud of her, even better news was that my auntie recently started driving for DB so I do hope she accepts it, most of my family members who are close to my side of the family which again it's confusing when I write it but it's even more confusing when it is explained are into manual or engineering work, a family of tomboys my friend called it, my brother however isn't into engineering so the name does not necessarily count. I usually check the forums for just even a hint for a possibility that an SBB Route might be added, I always wished something like the Bözbergstrecke from Zürich Hbf to Basel SBB which I am familiar with and have very cherished memories of. I also look at suggestions that people post, all of them interesting and fascinating, I always wanted to drive something like the SBB RABe 511 EMU or The Westbahn IC2 Stadler Kiss, SBB Re 460 and something that I particularly look for everyday, a BR193 Siemens Vectron to replace my addiction of the BR182 Siemens ES64U2 which I can only use for freight outside of Rapid Transit despite yes, people telling me it is supposed to pull sleeper carriages, either way I still drive it alot till the DB BR187 gets fixed hopefully. My cousin still video chats with me at times on her breaks or free time, I still talk to my crush till this day. I think pretty much everyday I've gotten on TSW2, at times not even to drive but as a passenger, sometimes I just stop and stare at the sky for no reason but to just think, sometimes I just want to drive further than the game let's me, I even stay on the train despite it heading out the map and load up the next route in the general direction for a sense of continuation. I miss everything to be very honest. I miss heading to the train station in the morning, getting on the train, sitting down and listening to music. I miss getting on a train after a stressful day with my sisters knowing that the bad part of the day is over. I miss hearing the announcements of the upcoming stations. I wish I could just experience it for an hour more, I feel far from home. There's alot I still wanted to do there. I dream about Switzerland a lot. Playing these games make me happier somewhat, I even watch Führerstandsmitfahrt videos to fall asleep to as it comforts me. As for now, everything is a far memory or dream. It's about 4 o'clock in the morning, I've been writing this for maybe 3 hours I think. I will wake up feeling most likely the same, Nadia is an important person in my life who has been there for me for mostly all of it. I thank all who made and helped make TSW2, an amazing game that brings me comfort despite it's odd kinks here and there and a few prominent locomotives still not in the game. I think have bought most of the German DLC's despite being more of a Schnellfahrstrecke and Fernverkehr fan and will continue to. I really wish I could go home, it still somewhat hurts. I wish that the developers continue to innovate and improve this wonderful game as there's so much that could be added and certainly no lack of ideas from this brilliant community, one route that I think I didn't necessarily enjoy too much Surprisingly is LGV mediterranée, it felt somewhat dead since alot of French routes tend to show off the fast TGV and LGV trains instead of the many other SNCF Trains that exist, as well as there being not much track to use KVB on, but yes I do understand how it is more complicated to make a route outside of the usual three countries of Germany, UK and America. Anyhow that is pretty much all I can say for now on why this game keeps pulling me back in and why I adore it alot. I don't know who will end up reading this or if it will just be forgotten as many things tend to do on the internet. My friends might read this so to Ivan I say, I still don't know where your left Adidas shoe went. To anyone else, I hope you have a very good and happy day, that you will find as much joy in the game whether intrinsic or not. It's 4 : 13 in the morning now for me and I'm about to just fall asleep so goodbye and very happy day to you. Jeg har veldig lyst til å reise hjem.
Like your story and for DB BR182 that locomotive runs St Gallen Buchs area as the OBB 1116 there's one at Zurich Hbf it's the Railjet
Thanks for sharing your story, it's good to know that TSW is helping you out - not sure what to tell you about your current situation, apart from wishing you well and hoping your situation improves. Just wanted to give you some information that might make you a bit happier about TSW: Rivet games has already developed a route in Switzerland, the narrow gauge RhB route between Chur and Arosa, and is developing a standard gauge route out of Luzern, most likely featuring the Stadler Flirt (RABe 523).
