Train Jokes.

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by tft#6439, Nov 5, 2022.

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  1. tft#6439

    tft#6439 Well-Known Member

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    Joke 1: What does a train say when it is practicing? It was training.
    Joke 2: Intercity Farewell? Must of been hard to Swallow.
    Joke 3: What does a Class 158 and runners have in common. They are sprinters.
    Joke 4: I bought a lovely Shed recently. Oh wait not the Class 66 kind.
     
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  2. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    :D lol. Those are really bad jokes but they are actually pretty funny. Nice work
     
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  3. matt#4801

    matt#4801 Well-Known Member

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    The swallow ones quite good to be fair.

    Here's another...
    What did the steam loco say when he baked a cake?..................................I'm well chuffed with that!

    Terrible, I know but it is 20 past 11 at night.
     
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  4. tft#6439

    tft#6439 Well-Known Member

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    Good one!
     
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  5. sequencer2k16

    sequencer2k16 Well-Known Member

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    The pessimist sees only darkness in the tunnel,
    the optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel,
    the realist realizes the light comes from a train,
    the engineer sees three idiots on the tracks.
     
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  6. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    Hahaha, that's really funny!
     
  7. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    Great Joke!
     
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  8. junior hornet

    junior hornet Well-Known Member

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    Did you hear about the man who jumped in front of a steam train? He was chuffed to bits.
     
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  9. matt#4801

    matt#4801 Well-Known Member

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    I don't suppose you heard the football result last night? Apparently Deltic FC were thrashed.
     
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  10. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    That joke was kind of all ready made but it's still funny
     
  11. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    Omg. Lol
     
  12. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by train. He got on an Ex-Press train
     
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  13. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale
     
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  14. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the trains…
     
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  15. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    I have to admit, I saw those jokes online but I thought I'd share them because of how funny they are
     
  16. Lunar_Twisted

    Lunar_Twisted Well-Known Member

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    I am terrible with coming up with jokes too.

    “I was walking fast on the platform and I slipped on ICE as I got on board”.
     
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  17. junior hornet

    junior hornet Well-Known Member

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    Two trains were waiting at the engine shed. One said to the other “I drove 1000 miles yesterday”. The other said “That’s incredible. A talking train”
     
  18. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    Lol, that's so bad it's funny!
     
  19. JJTimothy

    JJTimothy Well-Known Member

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    An apprentice signalman in a rural signal-box was being quizzed by his superior. “Two trains are approaching the passing loop but one of the points is frozen. What do you do?”
    “I'd set the points I can so that both trains can enter the loops. That way at least one of them can carry on while things get sorted.”
    The supervisor nodded approvingly, “What if neither points work? A problem with the interlocking- both trains are heading for the same track.”
    “Set all the signals to danger.” said the apprentice.
    “The problem's in the levers- everything's jiggered and you can't set the signals.”
    “Crikey...” said the apprentice but quickly, “Look in the toolbox over there for wire clippers, a hacksaw, anything that will cut through the signal cables. Once the tension's off the cables they'll fall into the danger position- they're weighted to fail safe.”
    “But the signals are clogged with snow- they don't budge.”
    "Shin up the ladder to the gantry and jump on them if I have to...”
    “There's been days of snow which has frozen solid- you can't break it!”
    “Get the lamp from behind the spectacles and melt the snow!”
    “The lamp's run out of oil!”
    “Oh for...” said the apprentice beaten, “Well... my brother lives a couple of minutes away- I'd get back to the box, ring him and tell him to get down here sharpish.”
    The supervisor thought about this for a moment then asked, “What could he do about it?”
    “Sod all” said the apprentice, “but he's never seen a train crash.”
     
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  20. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    Lol. I think I've heard a billy conely scetch like that
     
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  21. junior hornet

    junior hornet Well-Known Member

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    “Peep Peep” said Thomas
    “Poop Poop” said Gordon
    Just then the Fat Controller came out of the station toilet. He said to a passer by “I’d give that five minutes if I was you”
    “Ha Ha”, said Gordon, “I win”
     
  22. BeastyBill88

    BeastyBill88 Well-Known Member

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  23. Blacknred81

    Blacknred81 Well-Known Member

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    Here's a joke.

    Penn Central

    That is all...
     
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  24. Zander34

    Zander34 Member

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    Here's a joke.
    Precision Scheduled Railroading.
     
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  25. sequencer2k16

    sequencer2k16 Well-Known Member

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    316100486_685114406318563_6950192365782950660_n.jpg
     
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  26. Br425

    Br425 Well-Known Member

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  27. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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  28. TrainGeek08

    TrainGeek08 Well-Known Member

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    People who understand PZB: :D:D:D
    People who don't understand PZB: :o:o:o
     
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  29. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    I'm the one who doesn't, lol
     
  30. TrainGeek08

    TrainGeek08 Well-Known Member

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    :D:D:D
     
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  31. aeronautic237

    aeronautic237 Well-Known Member

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  32. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-11-26_15-44-27.png
     
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  33. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-11-26_15-45-36.png
     
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  34. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    Last edited: Nov 26, 2022
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  35. TrainGeek08

    TrainGeek08 Well-Known Member

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  36. tft#6439

    tft#6439 Well-Known Member

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    Hilarious! Wonder if Toberlone would consider making a chocolate that looks like this.
     
  37. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    I think their chocolate looks close enough ;)
     
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  38. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    Ik. XD
     
  39. Shackamaxon

    Shackamaxon Well-Known Member

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  40. tft#6439

    tft#6439 Well-Known Member

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    Just came up with a good joke. While I was on a beach in the Bahamas in the back of my mind was 45596 Bahamas.
     
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  41. aeronautic237

    aeronautic237 Well-Known Member

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    OK, those were some good memes TSW Nathan. Actually now I want to Google train memes...

    *Googles train memes*

    Some of those were epic. I wonder if I should share them here.
     
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  42. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    Omg, lol.
     
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  43. TSW Nathan

    TSW Nathan Well-Known Member

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    Yeeeees. Most of mine were off of google
     
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  44. aeronautic237

    aeronautic237 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah I found them too!
     
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  45. Lil jj

    Lil jj Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-11-27_13-31-4.png
    Oh look, a pudsey pacer.

















    *(In pudsey there is a running group called the pudsey pacers and this is new pudsey in case you don't know)
     
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  46. aeronautic237

    aeronautic237 Well-Known Member

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    I'm glad you explained it! Makes it much better!
     
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  47. matt#4801

    matt#4801 Well-Known Member

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    A HST and an Azuma were sitting next to each other in a station. The Azuma said how busy his day was and so the HST smirked and said to the Azuma,''You had better crack on then''.
     
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  48. aeronautic237

    aeronautic237 Well-Known Member

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    Ooooff! They had a cracking issue didn't they? Something to do with the GWR ones.
     
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  49. tft#6439

    tft#6439 Well-Known Member

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    Yep when I went to see 34046 Braunton at Eastleigh a saw an 800 with the front coupler open in the Arlington yard.
     
  50. matt#4801

    matt#4801 Well-Known Member

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    To be honest I have just put my job on the line for that joke. That was a very interesting time and just to save my back I am not going to say more than this on the matter apart from it was all 80x fleets in service at the time which were checked.
     

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